The attack comes from behind me. I stumble forward and spin, bringing my crowbar up to block the… prosthetic arm my attacker is wielding. He’s thrown off-guard and I launch at him, swinging the crowbar into his face. His head snaps back as I follow through and I backhand smash his head when it recoils up. He drops to his knees, one hand on the ground – his face a bloody mess.

I grab him and put him in a headlock. He struggles weakly against my grip and I walk him over to a television set as blood and drool pours from his face. I throw him head first into the television screen, raise my leg high and stomp his head into the ground. His neck bends unnaturally and a satisfying crunch rings out through the darkened room – he won’t be getting back up.

How Condemned 2 got past the OFLC (the Office of Film and Literature Classification) is beyond me. The game is probably the goriest, most graphic killing simulator I’ve played since I watched a man’s intestines fall out in Soldier of Fortune 2. It’s touted as a survival horror game like its predecessor, but the only people afraid for their lives in Condemned 2 are the hundreds of unlucky hobos in your way.

Of course, there’s more to the game than just killing wave after wave of derros – the forensic elements are back from the first game, though this time they’re better realised. Instead of just trying to take a picture at the right moment, you now analyse the crime scene yourself – you look at blood spatter, determine entry and exit wounds and work out the details yourself instead of just sending them through to your partner.

Then there’s the story – to someone who hasn’t played the first game this will appear to be just an excuse to channel more enemies at you. Very little in the way of back story or explanation is given, and I wouldn’t be surprised if someone new to the series was left thoroughly bewildered about what’s going on.

You’re an ex-cop with a drinking problem brought in by the local police department to help catch a killer. From there, the plot gets a bit freaky – though it’s more Alone in the Dark the movie than Alone in the Dark the game. It continues to have less and less grounding in reality until the last level of the game makes you seriously contemplate quitting so you can go back to shooting a man in slumsville just to watch him die.

The supernatural elements in the game are what Sega is using (unsuccessfully) to keep the survival horror factor in the game. The game relies on techniques like screen blurring, white noise and dimmed lighting to create unease, but instead it feels like there’s a glitch in the Matrix or something – not terror.

Still, there are some tense moments. Most of these come through the age old horror technique of surprise attacks – “Boo!” moments and the like – but the game is capable of actually building suspense… Until you start to feel all but invincible and the game becomes just another first person horror/shooter ala BioShock once you worked out you could never die.

Finishing the game unlocks the FPS mode, which puts a gun in your hands at all times and turns the game from a murder simulator into a frighteningly realistic lobby for gun control. Is there a filthy hobo with a crowbar charging down some stairs at you? Shoot him in the knees and watch him fall the rest of the way. Then blow his head clean from his body just to make sure with a 9mm pistol.

Multiplayer is a lot like the single player game – anyone with a gun has a distinct advantage over anyone without, to the point that team games are woefully unbalanced. This is almost balanced by the net code which sees shooting a gun a hit and miss (mostly miss) affair while you lag about the area – even when you have a green (or good) connection.

While MP is under-developed, the other extra mode is really well designed. Called Bloodshot Fight Club, this is a range of fighting mini-games – you can murder endless waves of hobos or try one of the other modes where there are actual objectives to complete. They’re all well thought out and it’s a fine addition to the game.


The violence is uncompromising, the graphics are frighteningly realistic and the language would embarrass a trucker. Still, the game is fun and despite its silly story it’s addictive. You should buy this game – get it before the OFLC realises the mistake it has made.