
Hitman: Absolution
Quick, tell me the plot of the Hitman series. Bald guy kills people for money, something something orphanage, something something questioning morality while still indiscriminately murdering stacks of people, credits roll.
Is there anyone who is actually invested in the plot of the Hitman series? Isn't that sort of like being invested in the plot of the Universal Soldier series? Don't get me wrong - Agent 47 is a bad-ass, and from mission to mission he's always exuded exactly the sort of blank slate personality I've wanted from a professional killer. It was easy to get invested in the levels of the Hitman series too, because they allowed the player to flex their creative muscle in the most macabre of ways. The Hitman series attempted this from the beginning, and reached it with the outstanding Hitman: Blood Money - a demonstration of the escapist nature of games in its purest form... just the player, a blank slate player character and the means to wreak havoc on a grand level. Hitman Absolution takes that blank slate and sends him down a path of self-destruction and absolution only to come out the other side exactly the same. Which is good if you want to use the character in the next game - but not so good if you put a massive emphasis on the storytelling in your game. Hitman Absolution puts a huge emphasis on storytelling. That's the only reason I can think of which explains why the player has to watch Agent 47 complete a large number of kills for them. Actually, I can't get past this. More than one of the 'hits' in the game is completed via cutscene, but about 3/4 of the way through the player is placed in a tailor shop and tasked to buy a suit. You buy the suit, and then you walk out. I didn't get to kill the big bad guy, but I had to wait while the game loaded a level the size of my lounge room so I could buy a suit. And it's not like I got to choose the suit, because 47 wears the same cut and the same tie all the time. I felt like I was taking crazy pills. I guess Hitman Absolution is going for the B Movie style 'it's so bad it's good' thing - the ironic, post-Tarantino grindhouse thing where the plot is stupid - but it knows it's stupid so you're all laughing together, right? You're buying the suit and tie so you can watch the scene where a dirtied up 47 walks into a tiny change room and when he puts on his signature suit, he steps out pristine - like some sort of hilarious superhero. Isn't that wacky!? Except I'm not laughing along. Instead I don’t know whether I should be angry at my time being wasted or confused about how it is being wasted. Time is the greatest resource in the game, so the idea that it is actively wasting away for some half-assed joke is abhorrent. Time is the difference between walking through an area unseen and having to shoot everyone along the way - you either walk through a level putting a bullet in the brain of everyone you see, or you sneak up, hide behind cover, wait for the guards to finish their triggered dialogue and then sneak past. There's little motivation to spend this time though (beyond a good score), because unlike Blood Money the game threatens no consequences to a player who kills everyone. In fact, because 47 is running for his life the game essentially empowers you to kill everyone. His motivation is one of survival, he's a blank slate Player Character and he has the ability to kill anyone who gets in his way... so why wouldn't he kill everyone? Too many missions involve the player moving through an area on their way to an eventual assassination - not actually killing anyone. The series is supposed to be about creatively murdering people and yet all too often it places you in situations where you're supposed to simply make your way to the end of the level - and a Silent Assassin would do it killing no one at all. For the best result you will make your way through a significant portion of the game without killing a single person. You're playing a hitman who won't kill people, trying to look after a schoolgirl in a typical schoolgirl outfit - this is the elevator pitch for The Big Hit. One level in which this traversal stood out had me sneaking into a weapons factory. My task was just to get inside - and about thirty guards stood between myself and my goal. I'd just made my way through a security checkpoint outside and down through a mine area - two levels, no kills. A chasm stood between me and my goal, and the bridge across it had three guards. What was I to do? Oh, here, a sniper's perch facing the factory. And next to it, a silenced sniper rifle. I could grab this gun and try to time my kills so I carve a path across the bridge with no one noticing? At this point - multiple levels into a mission without any assassination targets - this was like leaving water for a person in the desert. For all my griping, the act of killing people is passable. The gunplay is good and I didn't hate the "Instinct" stuff - especially when I was using it to stop time and kill seven or eight guys at once, Splinter Cell style. Obviously you're not supposed to be killing everyone in a room, but it's always nice to have an 'Oh, ****!' button that results in slow-motion ragdolling. Instinct, by the way, is a new addition similar in execution to Assassin's Creed's 'Eagle Vision'. Purists won't like it, but it's mostly a decent addition - and if you don't think Agent 47 should be able to see through walls you'll be pleased to know it doesn't work on higher difficulties. Once you get used to the act of switching weapons it's easy to change on the fly - so you can switch from 47's customary Silverballers to a SMG you picked up ages ago quite quickly when you need to. You can also holster (and unholster) weapons with the push of a button, which results in some very cool moments when you find yourself caught-out by unusually aware guards.
The example given above is probably primarily a part of the game's best addition - Contracts mode - which allows the player to create assassination challenges for their friends. This allows you to turn almost any level into an assassination, as you go in, pick a target, kill them with a certain weapon and then put it to your friends (or the world) and see if they can complete it. Other elements of the actual gameplay are not as smooth. The cover mechanic is a dog - 47 can stick to many surfaces, and when he does he stays stuck until you press the cover button again. This means you can happily crouch-walk around circular cover by holding your thumbstick in one direction without ever stopping - and without easily finding the point which allows you to switch to the next piece of cover. It's kind-of a ****** thing to have happen in a firefight. Worse is when 47 attempts to hide a body near a weapon he can pick up. The button to dump a body into a bin is Triangle - and the button to pick up weapons is the same. For some unfathomable reason, the game appears to prioritise the switching of weapons over hiding a body. Worse - if you happen to be switching one weapon for another, 47 will often be holding a dead body with one hand and repeatedly switching weapons with the other. I don't understand why the game has costumes if there's a lack of permanence in the way it uses those costumes. Our bald hero never starts a level with the same stuff he finished the last with - even if the new 'level' begins moments after the last. Somehow he's back in his suit, somehow all the weapons he picked up are gone, somehow you're reset back to zero. Even midlevel the game will reset. At one point we sneak around an orphanage and upstairs a man is being interrogated. I shot the goons interrogating the man and carried on until I found a checkpoint. After failing and reloading at the checkpoint, I went back upstairs and the same man was being beaten up - the game had reset the level despite the checkpoint (and despite my having weapons from that encounter in my possession). This is because Hitman Absolution is buggy as hell. The AI is bad, the checkpointing is abysmal and it crashed - hard crashed - on me twice while playing. The physics engine features bugs like frictionless guns which spin forever after falling to the ground. With a sniper rifle you could successfully kill everyone in an area by shooting one guy and then watching as his friends all run up to look at the dead body. At one point the vocal audio dropped out of the game, which meant characters flapped their faces and nothing came out. It was hard for me to care too much, because the voice acting was mostly awful - the lip-syncing was off, and everyone seemed to be just cashing in a pay cheque. It wasn't helped by the awful script - as I mentioned, I get that they were attempting to be hammy, but it just wasn't a good experience. It's hard to believe there was a point when I was on-board with Hitman Absolution. About five levels in you return to the Chinatown area for the second time - one of the few truly large areas in the game - and you have to kill three men amidst the celebration of Chinese New Year. It's a great level, reminiscent of the superb New Orleans level from Blood Money. Sadly, this is the exact point where the game fell apart for me. I'd killed two of my three targets and made my way towards the third when I came across a costume on the ground. Putting it on saw me don a giant chipmunk outfit, so I suppressed a quick smile and wandered over to my target when I accidentally walked into an area I wasn't supposed to be in and became "Hostile". I figured I'd use this opportunity to learn more about the level, so I shot my target in the face (in a crowded Chinese Open Air Mall) and the police started to come after me. Still in a giant chipmunk outfit, I hid behind a car near the exit of the level. By 'hid' I mean I ducked. After shooting two cops who knew of my location I hid a little longer until those in the area went into 'Hunting' mode - once I was clear I'd be able to leave the level like nothing had ever gone wrong. Suddenly a cop walked down next to my car - I was about to be revealed. He walked to about 10 metres away, looked in my direction, the 'someone can see you' meter began to fill and then... he turned around and walked away. He was hunting for a man in a giant chipmunk outfit, he could see one hiding behind a vehicle and he decided it must have been a different giant chipmunk. Is the AI simply buggy? Was my playing on the default suggested level causing the game to dumb the AI down too much? Does any of this matter to me, the player who just watched as a police officer looked straight at the Giant Chipmunk it was looking for and then decided to walk away? It's telling that the best part of Hitman Absolution is Contracts - a game mode with no terrible story, no pointless moving from one place to another, no cutscene kills. It's a shame to watch a developer so fundamentally misunderstand a game, but it's worse to see a series so lauded for its imagination exhibit so little. Hitman Absolution is a mistake. Even if in your mind the plot loops all the way past 'so bad it's bad' and back to 'so bad it's good' again, Hitman Absolution has more bugs than a service station meat pie and less direction than a headless chicken. A genuinely fun mode like Contracts can't save that. IO Interactive needs to restart from the Blood Money checkpoint and try again - they screwed up this run spectacularly.
Comments
8.5
Game Comment by Bulldog721
Hi Joab,
5.0
Game Comment by Glass Ghost
To be blunt, after Blood money I did expect more from IO interactive. Don't get me wrong, I love that we finally have a agent 47 that is presented to us in remarkable AAA graphics and that actually feels more like a super assassin rather then a clunky robo-cop. However where this game really falls short is that key fundamental game play features that we have learnt playing the hitman in previous titles are completely removed from agent 47's newest installment.
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Game Comment by kynido
This is the only good review I've read of this game, and even then I still feel it's too lenient. I've bounced between aggravated, infuriated and bored on every level of this game. Not once have I felt challenged or intelligent. If I failed, it was because I deviated from the very set goals the game wants you to complete. The real nail in the coffin for me was not the fact that it has little or nothing to do with a Hitman game, not the fact that the story turned the living ghost into a braindead incompetent, not event he fact that the AI is almost broken. No, what broke it for me was playing level after level where all you had to do was walk to a door. That's it. Just walk to a door. Out of the 15 levels I've played so far, I've had to assassinate people on maybe half of them, if I was lucky. Even then, it's usually more "kill" someone, than actually carefully plan their assassinations. A 3 is way too much for this game. Had it not had the Hitman name attached to it, then maybe it would be worth a 3, or maybe a 4 as it is a half-decent 3rd person stealth shooter. But as a Hitman game it deserves a 1/10 at the most. There is no fun or creativity to be found here. Just play Blood Money. _ _
Game Comment by gamearenabigpond
I find it quite funny the people who give this game 10 stars are the people who come to reviews like this and bash the reviewer. This was an honest to goodness good and unbiased review.
3.0
Game Comment by Joaby
@Skillet - My review is 2200 words, Bennett's is 1200. The only thing less essay like about my review is that I attached a number to it. Bennett is a great reviewer though.
9.0
Game Comment by rugal
I rate this game a 9/10. I signed up to this site after reading the review and then going into the forums to see some comments on it from joab. After reading an amusing thread where joab defended his score against criticism I signed up and posted what I believed to be my issues with the review. Criticisms of the game are based around it being different to previous hitman games and a number of bugs that the reviewer had with the game that he claimed 'broke' it and resulted in the score.
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Game Comment by skillet37
Below, an example of an objectively carried out review. Providing the good points and the bad. While your opinion as a reviewer is obviously important, a more essay type approach to your reviews might make less people "annoyed" by them.
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Game Comment by SweatyGremlins the II
Too much storytelling\movie shiz, it's ment 2 be Hitman not Uncharted 3.0
Game Comment by Joaby
@Rapidshifter - So you encountered at least one of the bugs I did - one that requires the player to reset their game - and yet you dismiss it and claim that I'm somehow at fault for the other bugs?
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Game Comment by RapidShifter
Well this review is a disgrace. You're the only person I've read that's talked about technical issues, and hate to break it but when one reviewer has technical issues and another doesn't (Nerd Cubed Sleeping Dogs to TB's Sleeping Dogs) then they admit that and don't take it into account for the score that it's very likely their fault.
0.1
Game Comment by cherocha
Absolutely atrocious game, in every respect. 3.0
Game Comment by Joaby
Ahh yes, because I don't enjoy a QTE heavy, poorly written interactive movie, a regressive FPS or a broken stealth action game I'm not allowed to enjoy a FPS. Great insight JRoss.
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Game Comment by Flurgence
I've been playing the game on PS3, no patch, it seems to work fine. In fact I've heard nothing about crashes from anyone. Maybe your machine's a bit old? _ _
Game Comment by jross1993
HALO 4: 5.5
3.0
Game Comment by Joaby
I wasn't having a go with the hearts and souls comment. The game had to have a 3/10 because it literally wasn't working for me. Once a game crashes or stops working as it should I can't give it a higher score because it's not an accurate reflection of my experience. Just out of interest - when you put the game in the first time, did you get a 1.01 patch or anything to download?
9.0
Game Comment by rejii
Hey man many thanks for the reply. Sorry about dribble, in the moment that was maybe a tad harsh haha. I respect your work as a reviewer I just think you missed the mark here... I don't expect you to take in the hearts and souls (that is ridiculous), but simply at least acknowledge the great points in this game and if you can truly say there were none then I don't know what game you were playing. A 3/10 says to me something that is literally unplayable and past the bad strory and checkpoints most of the issues you raise I'm simply not seeing. Example: The triangle to pick up weapon or dump body is simply a case of tapping or holding said button. And the default setting is normal (I think) which is the second level of difficulty out of 6 and even tells you in the description that its on the easy side... I think the fact you don't touch on the harder settings is a mistake in itself. But each to their own I guess. Thanks again for the review and reply. 8.0
Game Comment by Witchdoctor
I have the game on Xbox so maybe that will change the review a little.
3.0
Game Comment by Joaby
Hi Reijii. I'm not sure what you want me to say/do. I didn't make up my technical issues and I have multiple witnesses who saw the game crash on me/exhibit numerous other flaws - so I'm not really certain how I'm supposed to do anything about that? I mean, I can't review the game as if it didn't crash on me multiple times. That's not really how this works. I review my experience with the game, not an imaginary experience I had where nothing went wrong.
9.0
Game Comment by rejii
This review is utter dribble. While I agree with SOME points (especially the checkpoint system being broken and the story being weak as hell) for the most part I haven't encountered any of the technical issues described. The stick to cover actually feels right to me, the game has ran PERFECTLY on my ps3 and I'm atleast 10 hours in, the AI has been (for the most part) exactly what one would expect from a AAA title on this generation of systems (maybe that's because I jumped straight in on hard? I would expect the AI on lower settings to be a bit 'dumbed down', naturally). And the highlights for this guy were instinct and point shooting? Things which have been added to make the game more accessible to people unfamiliar with the series, things which - in my opinion - detract from the true hitman experience. It sounds like he put the game on easy/normal and shot his way through every level as fast as he could... The reason not to kill people in levels is a point/rating system that the review seems to have totally missed. I agree with everyone saying 'it's all different opinions yada yada' but when the person trusted to give the opinion (in an unbiased fashion), the opinion that most people will see, slaps together half a page worth of flaming and merely scratches the games surface because most of it is spent on a couple of farcical issues (that he seems to think have broken the entire product) it's hardly fair to the people who have spent hundreds of thousands of dollars and 4 years of their life creating for YOUR entertainment (which seems so precious might I add). Just so you can come along and take a **** all over it, making it out to sound like a 0.99 cent game you would purchase in the itunes store for an apple device. But then again... thats just my opinion. Love _ _
Game Comment by skillet37
Despite it's flaws, the game is decent and consumes time without me hating myself for parting with $30. At least for time:price ratio, the game does well I think. 3.0 is a bit heavy... There are much more terrible games out there that have higher ratings.
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